Formal Email Letter
Subject: Email of Introduction of myself
Dear Ms Lim,
My name is Shermaine Tan and I am really honoured to be able to introduce myself to you. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic (TP) with a diploma in Green Building and Sustainability. In the course of my studies, I discovered that I have a keen interest in Building Engineering. As a result, I decided to pursue my interest by enrolling into Sustainable Infrastructure (Building Services).
I love communicating with people. I love having small talk with friends about uncontroversial, trivial matters. Yet, at the same time, I also love making deep and intellectual conversation with professors, superiors and even strangers. It has always intrigued me how conversation cultivates us to be an empathetic listener. Furthermore, conversation allows us to gain different insights and perspectives. Therefore, I believe that I am quite comfortable with talking in public and taking the initiative to strike up a conversation with others.
However, despite learning English for my whole life, there is always room for improvement and I constantly find myself lacking behind as compared to my peers. During my internship period, I was instructed to send an email letter regarding the project to the clients. However, the client’s feedback that they are unable to understand the email as it was poorly written. It was then that I realised the importance of putting your words and information into clear, concise manner which enable the reader to grasp the gist of the messages effortlessly.
To conclude, I look forward to enhancing my abilities in my communication and written skills whereby I can express my thoughts and ideas in a more coherent manner which will be beneficial for future working lives. Most importantly, I hope that I can transform into a more confident and outstanding speaker.
I greatly appreciate your time and effort for reading my introduction.
Best regards,
Shermaine Tan
SIE2016 SEM03
Hey Shermaine! If I am not wrong, we were suppose to do a formal letter writing not an email.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if it is an email, good formatting and great flow. I was able to comprehend your email easily as it is very clear and concise. It flows smoothly from paragraph to paragraph. Moreover, usage of transition words were adequate and wide range of vocabulary used in this email.
There is one thing to take note though, try to sign off with "Yours sincerely "or "Yours faithfully" if it is a formal email. In this case, "Yours sincerely" as you know who you are writing to. "Best regards", "Best wishes", "Thanks" are usually used for informal email.
Overall, I enjoyed reading your post and getting to know you a little better. Once my junior and now my classmate, let us graduate with better written and communication skills together! Onwards we strive!
Cheers to being a more confident and outstanding speaker after this module!
Eunice
Hello Eunice,
DeleteThanks for your kind words of encouragement! Let's work hard together! We can do this (:
Hi Shermaine!
ReplyDeleteGreat use of vocabulary in this email letter and i got to know you more from your experience through this email.
Content and structure of the letter has good flow and hope that we will improve our communication skills!
Zhi ling
Hello ZhiLing,
DeleteThank you for your feedback! (:
Hi Shermaine,
ReplyDeleteGreat effort for the blog post, however, I think you can elaborate better for your strengths in communication. I believe you will eventually achieve your goals at the end of the module.
Cheers,
Jason
Hi Jason,
Deletethanks for your comment!! I believe that communication does not simply end when after effective communication. Let's work hard for next trimester!!(:
Cheers,
Shermaine
Hi Shermaine , good content and summarize about yourself ! The structures and organize flows according to the requirement. eg : intro body closing.
ReplyDeleteYour ending can end sign off with your full name instead. And use only Yours Sincerely instead or regards. I believe you can be transformed into a confident and outstanding speak after this journey ! All the best!
Hi WS, thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Noted on your comments and would improve on my ending off for formal letter! All the best to you too!
DeleteCheers,
Shermaine Tan
Dear Shermaine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your effort in producing this interesting piece of writing. Your blog post is generally coherent and clear, and I like the anecdote you shared illustrating just how essential it is to write with the reader in mind, ensuring completeness, correctness, conciseness, clarity, and coherence (of course not forgetting courtesy and concreteness).
As your classmates have noted, this blog post has a good flow and it allows your readers to easily follow your ideas – good job there.
There are a few minor language problems:
• “As a result, I decided to pursue my interest by enrolling into Sustainable Infrastructure (Building Services). ” >>> ‘how do you ‘enrol’ into ‘sustainable infrastructure’?
• “…despite learning English for my whole life…” >>> “…despite learning English for my whole life…”
• “…constantly find myself lacking behind as compared to my peers…” >>> lacking behind ‘what’?
• “…in my communication and written skills …” >>> do you mean written communication skill?
This is a good first blog post, and I thank you for sharing!
Cheers,
Ms. Lim
PS: You were tasked to write in the formal letter format
PPS: Do not place your signature in the bottom center of the page